The Working Mom

She was once a little girl. She played with Barbies, she liked to dress-up in her mother’s clothes, and she could spend hours reading a good book. She liked to explore the world on her bike and was a master of make-believe. She liked being tucked in tight at night by her parents.  She knew she could be whatever she wanted in life. She could be a nurse, a doctor, a writer, a teacher, a lawyer. The world was at her fingertips, easily within reach of her little girl hands. She was put at ease by the thoughts of who she would grow up to be someday.

The little girl knew school was important. School came easily for her and she was blessed with having a good memory for detail despite having little ability to focus. Every teacher’s lecture was an opportunity to hop onto a magical cloud that would take her to a time far away. Always a daydreamer, she would imagine her future life of marriage and kids and a job. The daydreams were ever-changing, but the themes remained the same: boy, marriage, kids, job, house.

She grew up. She continued down the path to be whatever she wanted. College, boyfriends, break-ups, part-time jobs, parties, lifelong friendships, she met all the rites of passage. So much to learn in life. The hardships took a toll on her. The mistakes wore on her conscious. But she never lost sight. She didn’t consider giving up, she didn’t know it existed as an option. The trials and tribulations of life always came with a gift of wisdom and strength. Difficulty drove her more ferociously down the path of being whatever she wanted.

Before she knew it, she was there. What had been a lifetime of make-believe, day dreaming, and goal setting had finally materialized. She can’t remember how it happened, it felt so quick. She forgot to celebrate. More so, she was not conscious the moment had come to celebrate. Even if she was conscious, and she had remembered, where was the time? There’s too much to do. There’s a husband now, and it takes work to live harmoniously with someone, no matter how dearly she loves him and he loves her. There are kids to bathe, feed, and entertain. There is a house to manage, to clean, and keep up. There is a career to maintain to pay the bills. She hadn’t realized the truths of this life. This dream-come-true is overwhelming.

“Slow down,” she told herself. “The dream has manifested. Be appreciative, practice gratitude.” She was aware of her struggles. She was aware of the exhaustion. She was aware of the responsibilities needing yet to be fulfilled. She was aware of the freedoms she lost as a mother, wife, full-time working mom. So maybe she couldn’t foresee what hardships the dream costs as a little girl, but that doesn’t make the dream any less wonderful. She was done comparing to the lives of others because she didn’t want someone else’s dream. This was her dream, and she was not going to waste one more moment in distress when she could be celebrating. Being exhausted does not mean she cannot be fulfilled. Not everyone gets to live their dream.

mash

  5 comments for “The Working Mom

  1. Hilary
    January 8, 2015 at 9:56 am

    The theme this year. SLOW DOWN. 🙂
    Thank you

  2. January 9, 2015 at 8:39 am

    Love the post! I need to slow down a bit myself.

  3. January 20, 2015 at 8:13 am

    Great post, I too have to remind myself to slow down to enjoy the present when my kids are young. The best decision I made last year was reducing my hours at work.

    • Suzanne
      January 20, 2015 at 9:26 am

      Thanks you for reading. I am hoping I will have an opportunity to wirk reduced hours soon. Or at least have more control of my hours.

      • January 20, 2015 at 11:05 am

        Control is everything. With my writing too I’m probably working more hours per week than before but it feels better.

Let me know your sentiments.

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